Well, I'll Be Damned!

The top ten reasons Eternal Damnation is better than Windows Software Development

by John Walker
May 3rd, 1996

Eternal Damnation

Windows Software Development

Number TEN
It never ends. You think you're almost done, but you never really finish.
Number NINE
You burn forever, but are not consumed. Each update introduces new and improved tortures, which slowly consume you.
Number EIGHT
Your fate is in the hands of Satan, Prince of Darkness. Your fate is in the hands of Gates, Prince of Incompatibility.
Number SEVEN
Satan gives you something you want in return for being damned. Gates makes you buy Windows 95.
Number SIX
It is avoidable; an attractive, widely-marketed alternative is available. Resistance is futile. All the alternatives are damned or doomed.
Number FIVE
It is free. You pay, and pay, and pay just to stay in the game.
Number FOUR
Satan was once an angel. Gates started by writing a BASIC interpreter.
Number THREE
Hell has no Windows. Microsoft does.
Number TWO
You only pass the Gates of Hell one time. The Gates of Microsoft keeps popping up everywhere you look.
Satan sincerely believes in the triumph of Evil. Gates just does it for the money.

Where do you want to go today?

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by John Walker